August 11, 2012

Outside Temp: 62 F (it was only 86 today, and I heard it would be cooler for the next week... woo hoo!)

What I cooked today:
Burgers and Pasta: I really, really didn't want to make dinner tonight.  You know those nights, where you really don't want to cook?  In the old place we used to live, this would be a day for pizza or a restaurant.  However, sometime around 9pm, I realized that if I didn't cook something, I'd feel guilty.  My kids would have a quesadilla, or ice cream, or a sandwich.  So, I picked up my tail, and defrosted some ground beef and made dinner.  Amazingly, it made me feel better... who knew?

Artisan Bread: Grandma has this amazing recipe for artisan bread, where you make the dough and leave it in the fridge.  Then, you can pull out the amount you need when you want to make some bread.  I bought a new toaster oven a few weeks ago, and I wanted to see if I could make the bread in the toaster oven, so I wouldn't have to heat up my entire oven, just to make awesome bread.  You all know how I feel about the heat.  So, the first loaf, I was arrogant enough to think I knew the temperature (350) and when the bread came out, it was crispy dough.  We could cut off a piece and toast it, and it was much better.  The second loaf, I used the correct temperature (450) and it turned out great.  The only problem was that I don't have a stone for my toaster oven, so the bottom wasn't crispy.  It was still pretty tasty.  I meant to save it for dinner, but the kids ate it up before dinner time.  Oh well...

Update:
So, those who know me well, know that I'm not very strict with my kids.  I usually ask for the obvious: respect and honesty.  I try to explain my requests in such a way that they understand why I'm asking.  I try to be kind, compassionate and understanding.  I expect them to tell the truth, treat other people with respect, and do what is required of them.

However, my oldest is almost 14.  I'm not sure if the increased sassy-ness is due to his age, puberty or exposure to other kids or the internet.  It doesn't really matter why it's here, it's here.  And, I decided that it's time to start treating him like a young adult, rather than a child. 

With children, who are young and inexperienced, you can give them knowledge, so they know right from wrong.  You can't blame them for ignorance, if they have never been exposed to a situation, how can they know they are doing wrong? 

However, as children grow into young adults, a time comes when (in my case) you might want to stop assuming they are ignorant.  For as long as I can remember, in my house and with my children, there were always warnings prior to any punishment or discipline. 

"Stop teasing your sister, or else there will be consequences."

"I've already asked you twice to do the dishes, if you don't do them now, I'll get very angry."

"I've already explained that it's bedtime, why are you arguing with me?"

It finally occurred to me last night, that rather than my kids being ignorant of the correct choices, they are actively making a choice counter to my request.  They are not being ignorant, they are taking advantage of my reactions.  They know that I won't expect them to move on the first count, (kind of like that 'if you don't stop by the time I get to 3', so the kid knows that he has 1 and 2 before he needs to act.).  I was treating them like children, when they are more than capable of being young adults.

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and I was lamenting on the sass-ing behavior, and the moodiness, and the sullen looks.  She told me that when she was a child, there were consequences, in the form of physical labor (cleaning, weeding, etc... something physical, annoying, not really necessary, but time consuming and not fun).  I realized that with my four children, I should have the cleanest house in the neighborhood.

So, we had a talk last night.  There will be no more warnings.  When the kids mis-behave, there will be immediate consequences.  I will assign chores for every infraction, to be carried out immediately.  Computers and TV will stop until the chore is complete.  I will not yell or whine or beg anymore.  I will simply let them know that a chore is now assigned.

I don't think any of them actually expected me to follow through with my new rule (I mean, lets face it, following through is not my strong point.) 

This morning, I asked Allen to clean up the floor under his computer, and he did a half-assed job of it.  So, he was required to clean the toilet, and them finish the job. 

When Allen and Connor got into a little argument, Connor was requested to scrub the bathroom sink and Allen was requested to clean his bedroom (Allen was more at fault, so he had a more severe chore). 

When Katie and Connor started arguing in church, they were both assigned 10 minutes of folding laundry (yes, we have so much laundry, there is always something to be folded). 

And, this evening, when I asked the kids to do the dishes, and they all 3 went into the TV room to watch TV, they all were assigned chores and the TV was shut off for the evening.

Amazingly, there was no yelling and no fighting.  There were a few tear from Katie, as she realized that she was in trouble.  But, all in all, it worked out fine.  And, I have a clean bathroom, 3 clean bedrooms, and some folded laundry to show for it!  I think, if I keep this up, I might just end up with a clean house after all!