Outside Temp: 39 F (ahh, to be home in our nice cool state... Apparently, it was a high of 66 at home today. It's beginning to look a lot like... )
What I cooked today:
Nothing... we got home too late to make dinner. I'll have to think of something special tomorrow!
Update:
We are home!! Woo hoo!
We headed out of Seattle around 7am this morning, and with the time change, we rolled into the house around 7:30 this evening (we had to stop in town for milk, since we were totally out!)
The drive was totally non eventful (especially since I DIDN'T hit either of the two deer that jumped in front of the car... I was being very aware!) Ryan chatted the entire drive, while Patrick and I talked about new projects for the business, new technologies coming out, plans for the future and stuff like that. After 12 hours in the car (with no Internet!), what else do you do?
We had to laugh when, at one moment we were listening to the radio, and I realized not only what the musician was saying, but what he actually meant. Which then lead into the discussion of how on earth I could explain such inappropriate innuendo to my son, if he happened to hear the song, and start to sing along. Oh goodness, I was flabbergasted. I know that there were plenty of songs during my generation that pushed the 'innuendo' button a little too much, but as a mom, it's really hard.
I'm not big into the 'banning' of music (or pretty much anything) in our house, so I'm not about to say the kids can't listen to the radio. So, I usually tend to be up front and honest about exactly what the artist is saying. This has lead to a few really red faces (one particular song used the phrase 'menage a tois', and so I explained what this was... oh boy, that was fun!). But, I would much rather have the kids know what they are saying, than to sing along happily ignorant (while other people are laughing).
Anyway, we arrived home without a solution, but I'm sure at some point (in the probably near future, since the song was quite popular on the radio), I'll be explaining yet another inappropriate innuendo to my (almost) 14 year old son. Hopefully, I'll have a few days to come up with an explanation... other than 'go ask your father.'
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Saturday, August 11, 2012
August 11, 2012
Outside Temp: 62 F (it was only 86 today, and I heard it would be cooler for the next week... woo hoo!)
What I cooked today:
Burgers and Pasta: I really, really didn't want to make dinner tonight. You know those nights, where you really don't want to cook? In the old place we used to live, this would be a day for pizza or a restaurant. However, sometime around 9pm, I realized that if I didn't cook something, I'd feel guilty. My kids would have a quesadilla, or ice cream, or a sandwich. So, I picked up my tail, and defrosted some ground beef and made dinner. Amazingly, it made me feel better... who knew?
Artisan Bread: Grandma has this amazing recipe for artisan bread, where you make the dough and leave it in the fridge. Then, you can pull out the amount you need when you want to make some bread. I bought a new toaster oven a few weeks ago, and I wanted to see if I could make the bread in the toaster oven, so I wouldn't have to heat up my entire oven, just to make awesome bread. You all know how I feel about the heat. So, the first loaf, I was arrogant enough to think I knew the temperature (350) and when the bread came out, it was crispy dough. We could cut off a piece and toast it, and it was much better. The second loaf, I used the correct temperature (450) and it turned out great. The only problem was that I don't have a stone for my toaster oven, so the bottom wasn't crispy. It was still pretty tasty. I meant to save it for dinner, but the kids ate it up before dinner time. Oh well...
Update:
So, those who know me well, know that I'm not very strict with my kids. I usually ask for the obvious: respect and honesty. I try to explain my requests in such a way that they understand why I'm asking. I try to be kind, compassionate and understanding. I expect them to tell the truth, treat other people with respect, and do what is required of them.
However, my oldest is almost 14. I'm not sure if the increased sassy-ness is due to his age, puberty or exposure to other kids or the internet. It doesn't really matter why it's here, it's here. And, I decided that it's time to start treating him like a young adult, rather than a child.
With children, who are young and inexperienced, you can give them knowledge, so they know right from wrong. You can't blame them for ignorance, if they have never been exposed to a situation, how can they know they are doing wrong?
However, as children grow into young adults, a time comes when (in my case) you might want to stop assuming they are ignorant. For as long as I can remember, in my house and with my children, there were always warnings prior to any punishment or discipline.
"Stop teasing your sister, or else there will be consequences."
"I've already asked you twice to do the dishes, if you don't do them now, I'll get very angry."
"I've already explained that it's bedtime, why are you arguing with me?"
It finally occurred to me last night, that rather than my kids being ignorant of the correct choices, they are actively making a choice counter to my request. They are not being ignorant, they are taking advantage of my reactions. They know that I won't expect them to move on the first count, (kind of like that 'if you don't stop by the time I get to 3', so the kid knows that he has 1 and 2 before he needs to act.). I was treating them like children, when they are more than capable of being young adults.
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and I was lamenting on the sass-ing behavior, and the moodiness, and the sullen looks. She told me that when she was a child, there were consequences, in the form of physical labor (cleaning, weeding, etc... something physical, annoying, not really necessary, but time consuming and not fun). I realized that with my four children, I should have the cleanest house in the neighborhood.
So, we had a talk last night. There will be no more warnings. When the kids mis-behave, there will be immediate consequences. I will assign chores for every infraction, to be carried out immediately. Computers and TV will stop until the chore is complete. I will not yell or whine or beg anymore. I will simply let them know that a chore is now assigned.
I don't think any of them actually expected me to follow through with my new rule (I mean, lets face it, following through is not my strong point.)
This morning, I asked Allen to clean up the floor under his computer, and he did a half-assed job of it. So, he was required to clean the toilet, and them finish the job.
When Allen and Connor got into a little argument, Connor was requested to scrub the bathroom sink and Allen was requested to clean his bedroom (Allen was more at fault, so he had a more severe chore).
When Katie and Connor started arguing in church, they were both assigned 10 minutes of folding laundry (yes, we have so much laundry, there is always something to be folded).
And, this evening, when I asked the kids to do the dishes, and they all 3 went into the TV room to watch TV, they all were assigned chores and the TV was shut off for the evening.
Amazingly, there was no yelling and no fighting. There were a few tear from Katie, as she realized that she was in trouble. But, all in all, it worked out fine. And, I have a clean bathroom, 3 clean bedrooms, and some folded laundry to show for it! I think, if I keep this up, I might just end up with a clean house after all!
What I cooked today:
Burgers and Pasta: I really, really didn't want to make dinner tonight. You know those nights, where you really don't want to cook? In the old place we used to live, this would be a day for pizza or a restaurant. However, sometime around 9pm, I realized that if I didn't cook something, I'd feel guilty. My kids would have a quesadilla, or ice cream, or a sandwich. So, I picked up my tail, and defrosted some ground beef and made dinner. Amazingly, it made me feel better... who knew?
Artisan Bread: Grandma has this amazing recipe for artisan bread, where you make the dough and leave it in the fridge. Then, you can pull out the amount you need when you want to make some bread. I bought a new toaster oven a few weeks ago, and I wanted to see if I could make the bread in the toaster oven, so I wouldn't have to heat up my entire oven, just to make awesome bread. You all know how I feel about the heat. So, the first loaf, I was arrogant enough to think I knew the temperature (350) and when the bread came out, it was crispy dough. We could cut off a piece and toast it, and it was much better. The second loaf, I used the correct temperature (450) and it turned out great. The only problem was that I don't have a stone for my toaster oven, so the bottom wasn't crispy. It was still pretty tasty. I meant to save it for dinner, but the kids ate it up before dinner time. Oh well...
Update:
So, those who know me well, know that I'm not very strict with my kids. I usually ask for the obvious: respect and honesty. I try to explain my requests in such a way that they understand why I'm asking. I try to be kind, compassionate and understanding. I expect them to tell the truth, treat other people with respect, and do what is required of them.
However, my oldest is almost 14. I'm not sure if the increased sassy-ness is due to his age, puberty or exposure to other kids or the internet. It doesn't really matter why it's here, it's here. And, I decided that it's time to start treating him like a young adult, rather than a child.
With children, who are young and inexperienced, you can give them knowledge, so they know right from wrong. You can't blame them for ignorance, if they have never been exposed to a situation, how can they know they are doing wrong?
However, as children grow into young adults, a time comes when (in my case) you might want to stop assuming they are ignorant. For as long as I can remember, in my house and with my children, there were always warnings prior to any punishment or discipline.
"Stop teasing your sister, or else there will be consequences."
"I've already asked you twice to do the dishes, if you don't do them now, I'll get very angry."
"I've already explained that it's bedtime, why are you arguing with me?"
It finally occurred to me last night, that rather than my kids being ignorant of the correct choices, they are actively making a choice counter to my request. They are not being ignorant, they are taking advantage of my reactions. They know that I won't expect them to move on the first count, (kind of like that 'if you don't stop by the time I get to 3', so the kid knows that he has 1 and 2 before he needs to act.). I was treating them like children, when they are more than capable of being young adults.
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and I was lamenting on the sass-ing behavior, and the moodiness, and the sullen looks. She told me that when she was a child, there were consequences, in the form of physical labor (cleaning, weeding, etc... something physical, annoying, not really necessary, but time consuming and not fun). I realized that with my four children, I should have the cleanest house in the neighborhood.
So, we had a talk last night. There will be no more warnings. When the kids mis-behave, there will be immediate consequences. I will assign chores for every infraction, to be carried out immediately. Computers and TV will stop until the chore is complete. I will not yell or whine or beg anymore. I will simply let them know that a chore is now assigned.
I don't think any of them actually expected me to follow through with my new rule (I mean, lets face it, following through is not my strong point.)
This morning, I asked Allen to clean up the floor under his computer, and he did a half-assed job of it. So, he was required to clean the toilet, and them finish the job.
When Allen and Connor got into a little argument, Connor was requested to scrub the bathroom sink and Allen was requested to clean his bedroom (Allen was more at fault, so he had a more severe chore).
When Katie and Connor started arguing in church, they were both assigned 10 minutes of folding laundry (yes, we have so much laundry, there is always something to be folded).
And, this evening, when I asked the kids to do the dishes, and they all 3 went into the TV room to watch TV, they all were assigned chores and the TV was shut off for the evening.
Amazingly, there was no yelling and no fighting. There were a few tear from Katie, as she realized that she was in trouble. But, all in all, it worked out fine. And, I have a clean bathroom, 3 clean bedrooms, and some folded laundry to show for it! I think, if I keep this up, I might just end up with a clean house after all!
Friday, March 9, 2012
March 9, 2012
Outside Temp: 40 F (it was in the 60's today! Oh my!)
What I cooked today:
Not much: Since it is a Friday during Lent, I decided that we would have very simple meals. Lunch was tomato soup and dinner was pasta, with butter. I feel mildly guilty for the ice cream I had for desert, but not that guilty.
Update:
Patrick spent a hour and half in the morning chatting with our priest. We really, really like our local priest and he and Patrick get along very well.
Afterwards, Patrick went into town with the Grandparents and Allen to see John Carter. Patrick read the book years ago, and Allen recently read it. Allen complained that it moved plot items around and wasn't nearly as good as the book. I could have told him that, even without reading the book OR seeing the movie... the movie is never as good as the book!
Katie, Connor and I went into Stanford tonight to watch the Elementary Girls Basketball game. Four of the players on our team are in either Connor's or Allen's class, so we felt an attachment to the team. The girls won and did so well! I was pretty impressed at how well they played. Perhaps the referee let a few traveling calls pass, but since the kids are 5th-7th grade, I guess that's okay.
Dinner was interesting, as we discussed IQ tests. At some point, we started discussing what our best strengths are and here are what the kids came up with:
Allen is good at Geography
Connor is good at writing stories
Katie is good at Math
Patrick is good at Computers
and I am good at putting up with Patrick.
Ahhh, it's great that my kids see my strengths.
What I cooked today:
Not much: Since it is a Friday during Lent, I decided that we would have very simple meals. Lunch was tomato soup and dinner was pasta, with butter. I feel mildly guilty for the ice cream I had for desert, but not that guilty.
Update:
Patrick spent a hour and half in the morning chatting with our priest. We really, really like our local priest and he and Patrick get along very well.
Afterwards, Patrick went into town with the Grandparents and Allen to see John Carter. Patrick read the book years ago, and Allen recently read it. Allen complained that it moved plot items around and wasn't nearly as good as the book. I could have told him that, even without reading the book OR seeing the movie... the movie is never as good as the book!
Katie, Connor and I went into Stanford tonight to watch the Elementary Girls Basketball game. Four of the players on our team are in either Connor's or Allen's class, so we felt an attachment to the team. The girls won and did so well! I was pretty impressed at how well they played. Perhaps the referee let a few traveling calls pass, but since the kids are 5th-7th grade, I guess that's okay.
Dinner was interesting, as we discussed IQ tests. At some point, we started discussing what our best strengths are and here are what the kids came up with:
Allen is good at Geography
Connor is good at writing stories
Katie is good at Math
Patrick is good at Computers
and I am good at putting up with Patrick.
Ahhh, it's great that my kids see my strengths.
Monday, March 5, 2012
March 5, 2012
Outside Temp: 32 F (it's been in the 50's all day today)
What I cooked today:
Macaroni and Cheese: I found a recipe in Alton Brown's (yea, him, again) for Mac's and Cheese. It has paprika and dry mustard in it, along with the milk and eggs and (of course) cheese... lots and lots of cheese. Patrick didn't really care for the bread crumbs on the top, but he said he liked it. I might even try it again!
Burgers: We had to have some protein to go with our pasta. I meant to make chili, so I only defrosted 1 lb, instead of my normal 1 1/2 lbs for burgers. It worked out okay though. Just smaller burgers.
Update:
Ugh, waking up at 7am on a Monday just sucks. I know, most people actually have to wake up before that, but this morning, I just didn't want to wake up. But I did. I'm that good.
After Ryan had his speech therapy, we came back home and he crawled up into my bed and promptly fell asleep. Apparently, he didn't want to wake up either.
I, on the other hand, walked down to the Post Office to chat and get my mail. The weather was absolutely beautiful! I didn't need my jacket, but I did have to watch the ground for the puddles of melted snow. A few spots, mostly in the shade, had mud, which can be annoying. So, I avoided those. After all, it kept me in the warm sun.
Katie came down with a migraine before dinner, so she crawled off to the bed while we ate. That also meant that I was not going to make her do the dishes tonight, even though it was her turn. Which lead to some grumbling from Connor, since he was chosen to take her place (Allen did them last night). However, when I described that if he was sick, I would have Katie do the dishes for him. He agreed and got over his mad (at least, he appeared to get over it... who knows how irritated he still is).
What I cooked today:
Macaroni and Cheese: I found a recipe in Alton Brown's (yea, him, again) for Mac's and Cheese. It has paprika and dry mustard in it, along with the milk and eggs and (of course) cheese... lots and lots of cheese. Patrick didn't really care for the bread crumbs on the top, but he said he liked it. I might even try it again!
Burgers: We had to have some protein to go with our pasta. I meant to make chili, so I only defrosted 1 lb, instead of my normal 1 1/2 lbs for burgers. It worked out okay though. Just smaller burgers.
Update:
Ugh, waking up at 7am on a Monday just sucks. I know, most people actually have to wake up before that, but this morning, I just didn't want to wake up. But I did. I'm that good.
After Ryan had his speech therapy, we came back home and he crawled up into my bed and promptly fell asleep. Apparently, he didn't want to wake up either.
I, on the other hand, walked down to the Post Office to chat and get my mail. The weather was absolutely beautiful! I didn't need my jacket, but I did have to watch the ground for the puddles of melted snow. A few spots, mostly in the shade, had mud, which can be annoying. So, I avoided those. After all, it kept me in the warm sun.
Katie came down with a migraine before dinner, so she crawled off to the bed while we ate. That also meant that I was not going to make her do the dishes tonight, even though it was her turn. Which lead to some grumbling from Connor, since he was chosen to take her place (Allen did them last night). However, when I described that if he was sick, I would have Katie do the dishes for him. He agreed and got over his mad (at least, he appeared to get over it... who knows how irritated he still is).
Friday, February 3, 2012
February 3, 2012
Outside Temp: 19 F (a little chilly outside, but it's been nice and warm all day, in the 40s.)
What I cooked today:
Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and Tomato Soup: A total classic. Is there anything better? Of course, at least one child had only the soup and one child had only the sandwich, but Patrick and I ate enough to make up for it! Yummmy.
Chicken Soup with Stars: I think my husband was the biggest kid at the table. "ooooo, stars! They're soo cool!". He was so excited about the silly stars. Of course, he really liked the soup and only added a few pinches of salt. He is always, always adding salt to food. I've come to realize I can never salt it enough, so I just salt it enough for me, and let him add all the salt he wants.
More Chicken Stock: I was almost depressed when I saw that whole fryer chickens were on sale for $0.88 / lb at Albertsons this week. But I picked up two chickens anyway, and waited until today to make my stock. I'm getting better at it. I'm really getting better at cutting up the silly chicken. Legs and Thighs come off in one nice slice, and they go right into a FoodSaver bag and into the freezer for BBQ chicken, someday. Then I slice off the wings and throw them in the pot (that is already simmering with onions, celery and carrots, and about 8 cups of water). Then I carefully slice off the breasts. This is the kind of tricky part, since I like to have them cut off perfectly. I'm getting pretty good. Then, of course, the rest of the carcass goes into the pot. Add some salt and pepper and the lid and just babysit all day, adding extra water as necessary. I pulled out about 4-5 cups of stock to make my soup, and just added extra water back into the pot. Since I had another 2-3 hours before I started pressure canning the stock, I knew the water would absorb all that nice flavor.
I also realized that I only have to pressure can the stock for about 25 minutes, not the 90 minutes I did last time. Which is good, since I have 2 batches to can. The first batch is already done, just de-pressurizing.
Update:
Thank goodness, today was a better day than yesterday.
We were able to finish off some our apologies today (one will have to wait until tomorrow), which prompted my child to say:
"You know, mom, saying sorry does actually make you feel better."
Then came the day of forced manual labor. My child had to scrub some really nasty windows, inside and out. Then clean the bedroom. Then Ryan's room, vacuuming both. Then the laundry. Then the dishes. Then the floor. Then homework could finally be started. After dinner consisted of cleaning the family room, which is kind of a mess (all Ryan's fault, I'm sure).
No computer, no TV. Not even watching siblings play.
Oh boy, did the day suck for my child. But I hope that lessons were learned. We may continue his forced labor through the weekend, I haven't decided yet.
We also got a call from a Realtor in Great Falls, saying they wanted to show the house to someone on Sunday. Now, we're not total slobs, but we have a lot of stuff that really has no place. Since we knew our stay here was not permanent, a lot of things are still in boxes and such.
So, today and tomorrow have had us going around the house, closing up boxes and putting them in the garage. We really want the place to look nice for whomever is coming by. We have been here since September, and this is the first time someone wanted to see the house. I know the owner really, really wants to sell it, but with all the issues, I can imagine it's going to be pretty hard to sell the place. If we can make the place look nice, maybe the person coming by will buy it. And since we're looking for somewhere else to live anyway, there's no hard feelings.
So, in a "making the best of a bad situation", I'm getting a little extra help cleaning up the house, and my child is getting the chance to make justified reparations. Talk about killing 2 birds with one stone... which is pretty hard to do, I can imagine. Not that I've ever tried to kill a bird with a stone... Or tried to kill a bird, period. Hmmm, I'll have to try that sometime, just to see if it's really that hard!
What I cooked today:
Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and Tomato Soup: A total classic. Is there anything better? Of course, at least one child had only the soup and one child had only the sandwich, but Patrick and I ate enough to make up for it! Yummmy.
Chicken Soup with Stars: I think my husband was the biggest kid at the table. "ooooo, stars! They're soo cool!". He was so excited about the silly stars. Of course, he really liked the soup and only added a few pinches of salt. He is always, always adding salt to food. I've come to realize I can never salt it enough, so I just salt it enough for me, and let him add all the salt he wants.
More Chicken Stock: I was almost depressed when I saw that whole fryer chickens were on sale for $0.88 / lb at Albertsons this week. But I picked up two chickens anyway, and waited until today to make my stock. I'm getting better at it. I'm really getting better at cutting up the silly chicken. Legs and Thighs come off in one nice slice, and they go right into a FoodSaver bag and into the freezer for BBQ chicken, someday. Then I slice off the wings and throw them in the pot (that is already simmering with onions, celery and carrots, and about 8 cups of water). Then I carefully slice off the breasts. This is the kind of tricky part, since I like to have them cut off perfectly. I'm getting pretty good. Then, of course, the rest of the carcass goes into the pot. Add some salt and pepper and the lid and just babysit all day, adding extra water as necessary. I pulled out about 4-5 cups of stock to make my soup, and just added extra water back into the pot. Since I had another 2-3 hours before I started pressure canning the stock, I knew the water would absorb all that nice flavor.
I also realized that I only have to pressure can the stock for about 25 minutes, not the 90 minutes I did last time. Which is good, since I have 2 batches to can. The first batch is already done, just de-pressurizing.
Update:
Thank goodness, today was a better day than yesterday.
We were able to finish off some our apologies today (one will have to wait until tomorrow), which prompted my child to say:
"You know, mom, saying sorry does actually make you feel better."
Then came the day of forced manual labor. My child had to scrub some really nasty windows, inside and out. Then clean the bedroom. Then Ryan's room, vacuuming both. Then the laundry. Then the dishes. Then the floor. Then homework could finally be started. After dinner consisted of cleaning the family room, which is kind of a mess (all Ryan's fault, I'm sure).
No computer, no TV. Not even watching siblings play.
Oh boy, did the day suck for my child. But I hope that lessons were learned. We may continue his forced labor through the weekend, I haven't decided yet.
We also got a call from a Realtor in Great Falls, saying they wanted to show the house to someone on Sunday. Now, we're not total slobs, but we have a lot of stuff that really has no place. Since we knew our stay here was not permanent, a lot of things are still in boxes and such.
So, today and tomorrow have had us going around the house, closing up boxes and putting them in the garage. We really want the place to look nice for whomever is coming by. We have been here since September, and this is the first time someone wanted to see the house. I know the owner really, really wants to sell it, but with all the issues, I can imagine it's going to be pretty hard to sell the place. If we can make the place look nice, maybe the person coming by will buy it. And since we're looking for somewhere else to live anyway, there's no hard feelings.
So, in a "making the best of a bad situation", I'm getting a little extra help cleaning up the house, and my child is getting the chance to make justified reparations. Talk about killing 2 birds with one stone... which is pretty hard to do, I can imagine. Not that I've ever tried to kill a bird with a stone... Or tried to kill a bird, period. Hmmm, I'll have to try that sometime, just to see if it's really that hard!
Thursday, February 2, 2012
February 2, 2012
Outside Temp: 19 F (we got a little snow this morning, but it's supposed to be sunny for the next few days. Most of the snow was gone by this afternoon.)
What I cooked today:Pasta: I didn't really want to cook today, since I had a few other things on my mind. I had the kids make pasta, which is totally easy. I know, no protein, but I didn't really care.
Update:
Have you ever had that day where you really questioned your ability to raise good children? You know, that day where your kids do something that makes you think you must be the worst mother in the world to have created and raised a child who would behave in such a manner? Yea, I've had that day today. (Patrick butted in and said I was making it sound like this child killed someone or something... it wasn't that bad.)
Without getting into details, one of my children did something, then didn't tell the truth when asked about it. Ugh, I hate lies more than anything in the world. Finally, around 7:30 tonight, we finally got down to the truth.
Once I had an idea of what occurred, I forced this child of mine to repeat the details of the event. He asked me, "Well, if you already know the truth, why do I have to say it?". Ahh, teaching moment.
We spent some time discussing the power of admitting what you did, out loud, to someone. Even if everyone knows what you did, it can make you live in denial if you don't have to admit it. Maybe you start to justify what you did. Maybe, as time goes on, you change the story; change your role in it. You might even make yourself into the victim, or at least absolve yourself of guilt. But without admitting it, and apologizing and asking for forgiveness from those you wronged, you can never move on.
So, my child started by apologizing to me, for lying. And for being stupid. And for embarrassing the family. Punishment, in the form of forced labor and removal of privileges, has already begun.
My child still needs to apologize to others, but since it was so late by the time we finished our discussion, we couldn't make those calls tonight. Hopefully, we will be able to resolve this soon, because this ugly feeling in my tummy just sucks.
What I cooked today:Pasta: I didn't really want to cook today, since I had a few other things on my mind. I had the kids make pasta, which is totally easy. I know, no protein, but I didn't really care.
Update:
Have you ever had that day where you really questioned your ability to raise good children? You know, that day where your kids do something that makes you think you must be the worst mother in the world to have created and raised a child who would behave in such a manner? Yea, I've had that day today. (Patrick butted in and said I was making it sound like this child killed someone or something... it wasn't that bad.)
Without getting into details, one of my children did something, then didn't tell the truth when asked about it. Ugh, I hate lies more than anything in the world. Finally, around 7:30 tonight, we finally got down to the truth.
Once I had an idea of what occurred, I forced this child of mine to repeat the details of the event. He asked me, "Well, if you already know the truth, why do I have to say it?". Ahh, teaching moment.
We spent some time discussing the power of admitting what you did, out loud, to someone. Even if everyone knows what you did, it can make you live in denial if you don't have to admit it. Maybe you start to justify what you did. Maybe, as time goes on, you change the story; change your role in it. You might even make yourself into the victim, or at least absolve yourself of guilt. But without admitting it, and apologizing and asking for forgiveness from those you wronged, you can never move on.
So, my child started by apologizing to me, for lying. And for being stupid. And for embarrassing the family. Punishment, in the form of forced labor and removal of privileges, has already begun.
My child still needs to apologize to others, but since it was so late by the time we finished our discussion, we couldn't make those calls tonight. Hopefully, we will be able to resolve this soon, because this ugly feeling in my tummy just sucks.
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